If you can't tell by my stance, I used to be a hard core ballet dancer. For at least 5 years of my life I spent in pursuit of one day being named a prima ballerina. It was strange really because I had spent my entire childhood being a hard core tomboy to suddenly in 6th grade I suppose found my femininity and threw myself completely into the world of ballet. Although after two school and state moves I lost my interest in ballet and jumped into the world of fashion. None the less I completely understand the mindset of a ballet dancer. The world is intense, you must live up to standards that only a few can reach. You spend hours every day stretching, doing strenuous jump's, turns, exercises. By the end of the day you can hardly believe your still standing, but you still do it. Once your in ballet it's hard to get out. After 5 years of not dancing I still have an intense passion for ballet and feel a deep connection with any performance, movie, or reference to ballet, especially in fashion. Rose pink pleated dresses, white wrap cardigans, tulle, flow. It's all very captivating in my eyes.
Like everyone else it is inevitable for me to discuss Black Swan. Not only did I absolutely love this movie, and have made it one of my Top 3, I felt an insanely deep connection with Natalie Portman. Not that I'm schizophrenic or am imagining killing people (sorry if I just spoiled it), but I understand where she is coming with her psychotic obsessions with ballet. The world is mesmerizing, the poses are statuesque, and to be able to have the ability to be one of the people that make the world of ballet magical is what every single ballet dancer strives to be throughout their entire career. To be told that you just "don't have it" is one of the hardest things to take and is one of the reasons that I quit. I just didn't have it. It's not based on how good your technique, or how fantastic your posture is, or if your body is in shape enough. Sometimes you just don't have the charisma, and that's something that very few can change. Natalie Portman's performance I feel was beyond outstanding and Aronofsky's choice of filming was something I would've never expected, but appreciated very much. Below is a recent editorial found in Vogue Russia and some stills from Black Swan.