I wake up and have lost you in my mind.

I roll over to find I'm alone; your not here by my side.

So I take a deep breath as my toes uncurl to embrace the frigid tile floor

But as quickly as I'm up I fall down and revert to the fetal position

that I've always found comfort in in cold mornings and long nights.

I remember last night when your body covered mine.

My back became a canvas for your touch

And we made love until we got lost in a surreal state of breaths and gasps.

Then I woke up and you weren't by my side.

Instead I was on the ground.

Naked, curled up, and shivering from the cold.

Were you just a dream?

A brief state of the mind?

Will you be back tonight when I close my eyes to my empty surroundings

That I try to hide with colors, past memories, mirrors, and lies?

In that dream state I felt alive.

Fully conscious.

A forest fire out break within my bodily confides.

I felt excited and driven.

You riled me up, let me enter a new world.

Where 2 became 1 and boundaries were lost.

Where the darkness is the light and warmth is found

When our flesh molds together.

I wake up and see no one by my side,

So I take a deep breath and dive back into the night

Found under pillows and white cotton linen

Where you hide with open arms waiting for me to lie naked

In-between your thighs.

Where you'll hold me tight and whisper sweet nothings

As we look deep in each others eyes that can never tell lies.

I look forward to the night that becomes day.

Where lying together is the most you need to say.

When you hold me in a way that makes death seem less terrifying

Now that I'll have this-this ineffable moment.

This indescribable, reoccurring dream that I hope never leaves my memory.

Photos by me, 35mm film