I love me a damsel in distress and love-at-first-sight scenario just as much as the next person but it's not exactly realistic with women today. Today there are more women single over 30 then ever seen before. Women wear pants without being chastised and can be the secretary of state (possibly next president?). The only thing that really separates a woman from a man is the ability to wear your heart on your sleeve. As Lana del Rey once said,"This is what makes us girls, we don't look for heaven cus we put our love first, somethin' that we'd die for it's our curse."
I initially wanted to make an anti-Valentines Day post to off-set the full on support one from yesterday. Even though I'm in a happy relationship and love Valentines Day for reasons beyond wine and chocolates I still feel for the single girls that feel belittled by all the Valentines Day marketing. When I was 14 I cut my hair to my chin and my dad told me I would never get a boyfriend because guy's only like girls with long hair. Well I told my dad (in my head) to screw off because I wasn't going to live my life based off of what a guy would or wouldn't like.
7 years later and I find myself still trying to live by the philosophy that I will do what I do because I want to do it not because I am being persuaded by the society I live in. I love flowers and the color pink and even though these two symbols have been strongly tied to the female identity throughout history doesn't mean I'm trying to embrace that stereotype by adorning them. I enjoy baseball caps and pants too but that doesn't mean I'm trying to be a boy.
For centuries the people who decided what would be depicted in our art and books and anything that could influence us was predominantly white men. If a woman was painted she was shown in a position that was asking to be observed by men. The clothes and colors she wore were to heighten the woman's frailty and innocence. Although nothing today can be done about what happened then it has continued to influence us here in 2013 on a psychological and sociological level.
What exactly makes us girls? Is it the difference in our physical build or is it something much deeper than that? Do we have to have a man and children to be considered truly happy? When did society decide that the best thing to make us feel loved was milk chocolate and a bouquet of roses? When did we start give baby girls pink blankets and baby boys blue ones? Why is it ok for women to cry in public but not men? Where did all of these ridiculous stereotypes come from and why do we still believe them?
Women today have gained a sense of independence and righteousness that they didn't have 50, 60, or 100 years ago. Today some choose to wear all black and pierce their body in every orifice possible and others choose to maintain the clean, pristine 1950's conservative look. My point in these examples is that women can choose now. They don't have to live their life based on a predetermined standard but can create a life of their own with their own rules and beliefs and justifications. My outfit today may be featuring a plethora of pink and documented in front of flowers but that's not because I felt peer pressured as a woman to do these things but because I wanted to do them from the bottom of my heart. So what makes us girls today? Whatever the fuck we want to make us girls.
